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Cleveland Bars and Clubs
 Big Family Lounge
20017 Harvard Avenue, Cleveland OH; Tel. 216.752.6709
Picture your living room if someone dropped a bar and a DJ in the middle, and you probably know what to expect at Big Family Lounge. Some of the hottest sound systems in the city bless the speakers with dance-hall reggae fresh off the presses. But be warned: This room is intimate, very close quarters, for that serious dance-hall grind. Dress to impress, but strictly wash and wear. The crowd is all love and well-behaved: nary a gun clap or a bitch slap to be heard . . . most nights. Go with friends, have some drinks, and play "find the restroom." If you ain't got peoples, you will before you leave, nahmean?
Club Out
1946 St. Clair Avenue, Cleveland; Tel. 216.241.4663
You don't have to spend hours in the gym to feel at home at this spacious downtown gay and lesbian club. You just have to forgo that early bedtime. The joint starts jumpin' at about 1 a.m. on Saturdays and stays open as an after-hours club until 4 a.m. Clubgoers travel from as far as Detroit, New York, and Atlanta to hear DJ Robbie Rob's hot and unholy dance mix, which includes hip-hop, R&B, reggae, and four varieties of house -- booty shake, tribal, vocal, and gospel. Line dances abound: There's the cha-cha slide, the Cleveland shuffle, and the "shake what yo' mamma gave ya." The thirtyish, working-class crowd keeps it real and looks good doing it, thanks to the second-floor balcony, where clubgoers can scope out the all-shapes-and-sizes merchandise on the dance floor below.
Funky Buddha
1360 West Ninth Street, Cleveland OH; Tel. 216.776.7777
As posh as any New York City nightclub, the Asian-themed Funky Buddha is one of the most upscale clubs in the Warehouse District, with its silk-covered couches, antique tables, and velvet drapes. Ambiance isn't all it has going for it, however: Since opening last year, it has hosted DJ Rap, Halo & Justin Long, LTJ Bukem, and Andy Smith, thereby creating a much-needed outlet for national DJ and electronic acts in Cleveland.
 Fusion
1212 West Sixth Street, Cleveland OH; Tel. 216.479.7717
Don't step into this ultra-chic Warehouse District bar if you want a beer. Don't come here if you value decorum. And for chrissakes, don't drop by if your religion teaches that a martini must be made with gin. But for broad-minded imbibers who love a huge menu of martini-like concoctions, enjoy noshing on tasty and inventive tapas-style appetizers, and dig the possibility of a spanking at the hands of tipsy bachelorettes, a stop at moody little Fusion is a blast.
Merry Arts Lounge
15607 Detroit Avenue, Lakewood OH; Tel. 216.226.4080
Heavy on history and light on attitude, the Merry Arts is a place for name-droppers. Just ask Tom Hanks. He partied there during his pre-Oscar days at the Great Lakes Shakespeare Festival. In fact, he gave the pub a late-night plug on Letterman, a decade after he fled Northeast Ohio for the glitter of Tinseltown. With a formidable kitchen known for its burgers and quesadillas, Lakewood's oldest existing bar has been a steady favorite for locals since it opened 70 years ago.
The Beachland Ballroom
15711 Waterloo Road, Cleveland OH; Tel. 216.383.1124
Whether it's a sparsely attended New Pornographers gig or a sold-out Hives show, the Beachland's boxy, spacious room is the town's best place to see a concert. And it's not just because the Beachland's booking the best bands these days. There really isn't a bad spot in the whole house (there aren't any obtrusive poles or barriers, or twists and turns that obscure views), and the sound is almost always just right (and only occasionally muddy). Beware -- at packed shows, it gets stiflingly hot, and parking can sometimes be a pain in the ass. Any inconvenience is worth it, though, because the Beachland rarely caves in to industry hype, featuring garage rock, alt-country, and hip-hop with top-notch style.
The Velvet Dog
1280 West Sixth Street, Cleveland OH; Tel. 216.664.1116
Where do you go for good '80s music and a dance floor consistently too packed for dancing? The Velvet Dog, of course, which has become the club of choice for the party-hearty crowd that finds other clubs too pretentious or too overrun with 19-year-olds. With a tiki-lit outdoor patio on the third floor, good martinis, and never enough couches, it's a new twist on a very old, very good theme.
Touch Supper Club
2710 Lorain Avenue, Cleveland OH; Tel. 216.631.5200
Even the most ardent West Sixth Street partyers have been venturing over to Ohio City lately, to check up on Touch Supper Club. The regularly changing installation art that decorates the walls provides a chic urban atmosphere, and an incredibly diverse array of sounds keep the intimate downstairs dance floor filled with a hip crowd. There's a reggae/hip-hop meltdown on Tuesday nights, a rock and roll explosion on Thursdays, and a soul-saturated salsa party on Fridays -- but never an uptight dress code. It's no wonder that everybody feels comfortable at Touch, regardless of creed, color, or choice of apparel. The clincher: Touch dedicates two Saturdays a month to booking international techno, house, and rare-groove DJ talent, and that's when the party really gets started.
Excerpts from the Cleveland Scene are ©2002 Cleveland Scene and republished with publisher's permission.
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